I go out one night a week with my sister-in-law and other friends. Sometimes it's just us 2 and sometimes it's more friends. I love the game of pool and study it alot. I do drink when I go and my husband knows I'm a flirt, but I never cross any lines. I am probably the most trustworthy mate there could be, but I do have some guy friends that are regulars at this bar. I would never do anything with them. I have a 2yo and a 4yo. Is it really wrong for me to have one night to go do an activity I enjoy with other girlfriends? Some people make it seem like I'm "looking for something" if I go out without my husband.|||As long as you are being honest with your husband %26amp; he's OK with it, then it's fine. It's really not anybody else's business.|||decent women dont go to bars.|||It sounds perfectly fine to me. Enjoy yourself! As long as the kids are being looked after, no reason both you and your husband shouldn't be able to have some time on your own here and there to spend with friends or however you desire.|||Ignore those people; you know that you're not looking for something, and your husband knows, so those other people can take a long walk off a short pier.
You're a SAHM - you need time with girlfriends!|||There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. You are entitled to a life. If someone wants to prejudge you or your intentions, that's their problem, not yours.|||Going without your husband is asking for trouble. I know you have kids and someone has to stay home and watch them but what about getting a babysitter and going together.|||No I don't think it's wrong at all, especially if you are giving your husband the courtesy of having one night a week when he can do something he likes. However, "my husband knows I'm a flirt" how can you possibly put that right before "I am probably the most trustworthy mate there could be" probably and are, are clearly two different things, after all wouldnt the "most trustworthy mate" not be a flirt? Realize I respect that you wouldn't cross and lines and hope your husband respect you that much not to cross those lines either, but to answer your question how would you feel if he was the "Flirt" and off on his own? Hopefully the point was taken. Have fun out on the town with your girlfriends but try to keep your flirting to a minimum, after all you may have no intentions to follow through however that doesn't mean these guys don't think they don't have a chance with you, after all don't you think flirting would be leading them on? If you don't think it's an issue, then ask yourself why do you flirt? There's a huge difference between being nice and polite and being a flirt.|||If your husband doesn't mind, and you know your intentions are pure, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. No one else's opinion really matters. And the truth of the matter is, people who cheat are generally people who are unhappy. So by going out w/friends and shooting pool 1 night a week, you're making yourself happy and are actually less likely to cheat than if you stayed at home and missed out on life and having a little fun. So keep on going and ignore the people who think it will "cause talk". They obviously don't know what they're talking about.|||No, it's not wrong and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.|||I totally would say that you deserve to go out with your friends and have a good time, but I have ran into this situation, also, and my husband would say "married people don't belong at a bar". To tell you the truth, in my situation, the people I was going with were all in the midst of divorces, etc., so I could almost kind of understand it, but on the other hand, I've been married 12 years, have never given my husband a reason to distrust, and yet he rules my every move-you don't want to get into a situation like mine, so talk to your husband, try to reassure him, but don't give in too much or you may end up with no freedom (my husband gets upset if I go to the store without consulting him!).|||Nothing wrong with having girls night out. I like when my wife has hers because it give me a free night as well.|||I don't see anything wrong with it personally. But you need to convince your husband, not us.|||Nothing wrong with going out as long as you and your husband agree and he trust's you and you vagina to think clearly. That's the tricky part just make sure your vagina stays in check..they like to wander off sometimes. J/K I think you shouldn't worry about what others think and have a girls night out without the kids..every mom needs it!|||If it bothers your husband it should bother you. This is not unreasonable. You don't say that it is so I guess it isn't.
Now if you were going to a girlfriends house to play pool it would be different. You are entitled to some girl time.
There are too many temptations in a bar and things in life happen in degrees. What starts out as a simple flirt can and often does lead to more. Especially when alcohol is involved. You may have honest intentions but you know that bars are full of people that don't. One moment of weakness will change your life and the life of your kids.
My advice is to limit your time in that environment. You are a mother with 2 small kids and you don't want to mess that up. Try and keep the fire in your marriage alive and get your kicks with your family. I promise you, you will regret it if they are not a priority.
Good luck and put them first.|||A married woman in a pool hall flirting and drinking IS crossing the line. That's what single women do, not married women with 2 small children. How would you like it if your husband went out drinking and flirting with other women, with regular women friends he meets up with at the bar every week?|||I think you should ask this of your husband. If he is OK with it, then you shouldn't think twice about it. However, you need to take into consideration the feelings of your family, if you really wish to be 'the most trustworthy mate there could be.'
And as a husband who supports his wife on her outings, I have to say that in my opinion, there is no such thing as 'harmless' flirting. On any given outing with my wife, there are at least 30 guys who are better looking than I am, and 10 of them make more money. And yet she never fails to make me believe that I am perfect (for her). When I am not with her, she would never consider flirting with them, because she respects me too much to do so. I am not insecure; were I not taken, I would be a catch. But I have the best wife ever (for me!), and would never demean her by 'harmlessly' ignoring her feelings just to give my ego a boost. She deserves better; so does your husband.
Good luck with this.|||No and Yes. It is not wrong for you to have your own life. But you need to be careful with the flirting. Your husband may or may not feel comfortable with it. How would you feel if he chased girls in a bar--even if he never left with them. What about the other guys, is it right for you to lead them on? I know I would be really pissed if a married woman flirted with me and let me develop a crush not knowing she was married. I say its great for you to go out with the girls and play pool, but you need to make it clear that your friend relationship with any guy is going no where because you already have what you want. Your responsibility is not just to your husband but also to those guys who just might want to pursue you. And while we all like a flirt, if I'm married to that flirt I don't want her creating situations where I or any other man might envision her crossing "that line." Going out without hubby is one thing. That--if your hubby agrees--is no different than him going out with the guys or after office dinners. But if he were to act like he was "available" when out with the guys, then in my opinion he's crossed the line. If your acting like you are available the same holds true. If you "look like" your "looking" than some people will think you are. Otherwise, its between you and your spouse.|||I don't see how that's a problem. You are a human being and need a life, too! You're not just a mother and a wife, you're a woman. If you're happy, you'll be a better wife and mother.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment